


Ding! Dong Ding Dong

by JessJesstheBest



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, History Huh? Holiday Exchange, M/M, Music, Post-Canon, Schmoop, This is very indulgent lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21853243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessJesstheBest/pseuds/JessJesstheBest
Summary: He got his phone in front of him and pulled up Spotify.“Consider this your official Christmas education.”Or Alex and Henry listen to Christmas music. But the newer, fun stuff.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 14
Kudos: 85





	Ding! Dong Ding Dong

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Kathleen! On the [History Huh? Discord Server](https://discord.gg/U8rYjy)

“Yes, Alex, of  _ course _ I’ve heard Mariah Carrey’s  _ ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ _ .” Henry said, rolling his eyes and tapping at Alex’s leg where it was propped next to him. “I  _ am _ gay, you know.”

“And thank  _ God _ for that.” Alex said, rubbing a hand up over Henry’s hair. “But how am I supposed to know which pieces of American culture you’ve experienced? You didn’t know about ‘Get Low’! I don’t trust any of the education provided to you by that snotty English prep school.”

Henry laughed, softly. “Ah, yes: forget the European history and international policy I was educated in. If there’s no American pop music on the syllabus, the whole system’s a crock.”

“You get it,” Alex said, nodding solemnly. His face only broke when Henry snorted.

“I don’t think most Christmas music is strictly American, though.” Henry argued. “I’d say it’s such a specific genre it’s mostly universally shared.”

Alex grinned. “Let’s test that.” He lifted his pelvis so he could reach his phone that was tucked into his back pocket and caused Henry to whine at him, disgruntled by Alex’s squirming.

They were huddled together on the couch in Alex’s room in the White House, their New York brownstone not yet ready for them. Alex was sitting sideways on the couch, back against the armrest. One of his legs was extended down the couch to make room for Henry who was laying on his side between Alex and the back of the couch, but mostly on top of Alex. Alex kept one socked foot pressed into the cushions to keep them from toppling off the couch onto the floor.

As twined together as they were, Alex reaching for his phone definitely disturbed Henry’s whole body.

“Oh, shut up,” Alex told him. “We’re doing science.”

He got his phone in front of him, petting over Henry’s head again to apologize for the disruption, and pulled up Spotify.

“Consider this your official Christmas education.”

Henry snorted again, resting his head against Alex’s chest. “I wouldn’t say this is–”

“And you’re shutting up again.” Alex said, pressing play and resting the phone on his knee. “We’re listening now.”

Out of Alex’s phone speaker came some high melodic bell sounds followed immediately by a female singer doing a vocal run of  _ ‘Oh yeah!’ _

Henry hummed. “Britney Spears.”

Alex looked down at the top of his head. “You know this one?”

“No,” Henry admitted in a grumble. “But any queer worth their salt knows Britney when they hear her.”

Alex chuckled. That was valid.

The song got to the chorus and Alex couldn’t help but mouth along to the lyrics.

_ Santa, can you hear me? _

_ I have been so good this year. _

_ And all I want is one thing: _

_ tell me my true love is near! _

_ He’s all I want, just for me, _

_ underneath my Christmas tree. _

_ I’ll be waiting here. _

_ Santa, that’s my only wish this year. _

Henry rumbled a soft laugh, burying his face in Alex’s sweatshirt. “Love, that is  _ incredibly _ sappy.”

Alex swatted him, lightly. “Leave Britney Alone.”

Henry laughed again, grinding his forehead into Alex’s sternum and Alex just grinned, bringing his hand up to rest in Henry’s hair.

When that song ended, a new one started.

“ _ Fuck _ yes,” Alex said, with feeling. “Keeping it in the 90’s.”

“Dear, you were just barely alive in the 90’s.”

“ _ Shhhh!” _ Alex shushed him. “*NSYNC is singing!”

Henry was right: Alex was born in 1998 and, therefore, most of these songs were just a little bit before his time. But he  _ did _ have an older sister.

“I do, actually, know this one,” Henry said, humming along to the chorus. Though why he didn’t sing the lyrics, Alex didn’t know. It was literally just ‘Merry Christmas’ over and over again.

“I’m  _ shocked _ that it’s a boy band that makes its way across the pond to you,” Alex said.

Henry rolled his eyes. “I had an older sister of the nineties as well, Alex.”

Alex got bored of the song halfway through (it really was repetitive) and picked up his phone to find a new song.

Most of the songs Spotify had picked for them were in the same vein: 90’s and early 2000’s stars singing poppy Christmas songs. But a little bit of scrolling found him something truly incredible.

_ “It’s Christmas in Hollywood,  _

_ Santa’s back up in the hood,  _

_ so meet me under the mistletoe, _

_ let’s fu-u-uck” _

Henry burst out laughing, his convulsions almost enough to shove Alex to the floor. “What is  _ that _ ?”

“Hollywood Undead!” Alex answered, merrily. “They’re not good and this song is actually terrible but it kind of slaps?”

Henry could barely hear any of the lyrics over his laughing but he did manage the jolly voice of Santa on the track saying “ _ If you guide my sleigh I’ll let you fuck my wife _ .” And that just sent him into a whole new bout of hysterics.

“We should play this at our holiday dinner,” Alex suggested, as the song faded out.

“Oh, yes,” Henry said, choking on a couple late chuckles. “This is the best representation of sharing between our cultures I can imagine.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, too,” Alex answered, a stray giggle betraying him.

They managed to laugh through the next song which was someone’s cover of “Santa Baby” but it wasn’t Eartha Kitt so Alex didn’t think it was any real loss.

It wasn’t until a certain guitar riff that Henry shushed him. “Quiet, darling, Darren Criss is singing.”

Alex groaned, dropping his head back against the armrest. “God, you and that guy.”

Henry shushed him again.

Alex rolled his eyes and picked up his phone to look at the song title. “Extraordinary Merry Christmas” from the  _ Glee _ soundtrack.

And, yes, there was Lea Michele’s voice harmonizing now.

Alex understood, obscurely, the appeal of  _ Glee _ . The music. The drama. The beautiful people. June had been obsessed with it in the early days and he’d seen a few episodes but he could never really get into it.

Henry, though, was a card carrying Gleek. Which was absolutely absurd but also, weirdly, totally expected. He was totally the type to eat that corny shit up.

Also, he was obsessed with Darren Criss, who played Kurt’s boyfriend Blaine on  _ Glee _ .

“I guess this song, is kind of alright,” Alex admitted.

Henry turned wild eyes on him. “Do you not  _ hear _ him? He’s incredible.”

Alex rolled his eyes again. “He’s not even the real Harry Potter,” Alex grumbled.

Henry shushed him.

When the song was over, Alex pulled the phone up and tapped out another search.

He made Henry get up before he hit play.

Henry groaned. “ _ Why. _ ”

“Because we’re going to dance like the worst and most terribly cheesy couple in the entire world,” Alex answered, promptly. “And I get to be Blaine.”

“Wha–” Henry started but then Alex hit play and the opening notes for the  _ Glee _ version of ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ started. 

Henry’s eyes lit up but he frowned. “Let me be Blaine, my voice is deeper than yours.”

“Too late!” Alex said because it was Henry’s cue.

_ “I really can’t stay,”  _ Henry sang falsetto and completely off-pitch.

Alex tried not to laugh over his line. “ _ But Baby, it’s cold outside _ .”

_ “I’ve got to go ‘way.” _

_ “But baby it’s cold outside!” _

They swayed in a circle, arms around each other, trading lines and trying not to laugh at Henry’s absolutely horrendous attempt at falsetto. Alex didn’t know all the words and Henry’s voice kept cracking but they got through the whole song with minimal trouble.

They were laughing to themselves by the end, Henry ducking his head to bring Alex into a long kiss. Alex hummed into it.

The phone kept playing another Christmas song of another slow-ish tempo so they kept dancing, not wanting to stop now they’ve started.

Henry pulled away, resting his forehead on Alex’s. “Why did you get to be Blaine?”

Alex laughed. “Because he’s your favorite. And I wanted to be your favorite.”

Henry kissed him again, humming. “It’s not just because you wanted the boy part?”

“The point of that version is that they’re  _ both _ the boy part.”

Henry smiled a small smile and leaned down to kiss him again.

They stayed kissing for the rest of the song, and then the opening notes for “Baby It’s Cold Outside” started again, this time the Zooey Deschanell version.

Henry pulled away again. “You know when Kurt and Blaine sang ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ on  _ Glee… _ ” Henry started, licking his lips. “That was the first scene of television I’d ever seen that had a positive and sweetly romantic portrayal of two men.”

Alex pulled his head back a little bit to look at him. “Really?”

Henry nodded. “Every other gay thing on television was always very sexual. Or completely neutered. I was a 13-year old kid having innocent crushes on boys but there was nothing on tv that looked like what I was feeling. Not until that scene.”

Alex grinned, leaning up to plant a kiss on Henry’s jaw. “That’s adorable.”

Henry growled a little in his throat, but turned his head so it was easier for Alex to kiss him.

Alex kissed him on the mouth, pulling away with a smile. “Weird, though, that the song is about date rape.”

Alex grinned wider as he watched Henry’s whole face turn red.

_ “You have to take the song in context!” _ Henry hissed. They stopped dancing. “In the 1940’s, it was inappropriate for a woman to be at a man’s house very late without a chaperone! You have to listen to the song with the context of a society in which women are expected to reject men’s advances whether they actually want to or not, and therefore it’s normal and expected for a lady’s gentleman companion to pressure her despite her protests, because he knows she would have to say that whether or not she meant it, and if she really wants to stay she won’t be able to justify doing so unless he offers her an excuse.” Henry was breathing heavily. “The song’s a game of cat and mouse! She even says ‘At least I’m gonna say that I tried’ like she  _ really _ wants to stay but she knows what people will say if she does.” Henry was sporting the angry eyebrows now and Alex was delighted. “It is disrespectful and historically inaccurate to reduce the song in that way.”

Alex reached up to rub his thumb against the crease of Henry’s eyebrows. “You enormous nerd.”

Alex leaned up and kissed the pout on Henry’s mouth. Henry held firm in his rage for a count of two before he melted and kissed Alex back.

They kissed all through Christina Aguilera’s rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”.

**Author's Note:**

> I definitely broke cap word count.... but it's my event, so I can do what I want! Nyeh.
> 
> Title from "Carol of the Bells" (that is their song, get it?) which you can find versions of LITERALLY EVERYWHERE but defintiely listen to [Pentatonix's version.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSUFzC6_fp8)
> 
> Songs mentioned in this fic:  
> 
> 
>   * ["All I want for Christmas is You" - Mariah Carey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY) (obviously)
>   * ["My Only Wish (This Year)" - Britney Spears](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrvebqA8xdM)
>   * ["Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" -*NSYNC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKj92352UAE)
>   * ["Christmas in Hollywood" - Hollywood Undead](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faFdOj-FQjc)  
>  Yes this song is real and I'm throwing a Content Warning on it: It's VERY fucked up. Extremely inappropriate. Proceed with caution.
>   * ["Santa Baby" - Eartha Kitt ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppYGHqxwCuk)  
>  This isn't the one they laugh through but it is, unfortunately, the only one worth listening to.
>   * ["Extraordinary Merry Christmas" - Darren Criss and Lea Michele _(Glee)_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvDtoahtEBw)  
>  That's the full song but you should also watch the performance [It's very cute.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erkhLYL7InE)
>   * ["Baby It's Cold Outside" - Darren Criss and Chris Colfer _(Glee)_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUoJ8e2J-_w)  
>  And this is the performance that made tiny baby gay Henry so happy [please watch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ja9JLuGryU).
>   * ["Baby It's Cold Outside" - Zooey Deschanel and Leon Redbone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d-4aOi3AzQ)
>   * ["Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - Christina Aguilera](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApC_k7aCQ2o)  
>  You have no idea how hard it was to use the Xtina version, Darren Criss has also covered this song...
> 

> 
> Henry's "Baby It's Cold Outside" rant is borrowed from [this tumblr post](https://saywhatjessie.tumblr.com/post/180849220445/bigbutterandeggman-teachingwithcoffee-its)
> 
> [Rebloggable version!](https://saywhatjessie.tumblr.com/post/189839997455)


End file.
